


Fear on Fire

by capsicle_joy (daggersofLoki)



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: F/M, Oblivious Steve Rogers, Post-Serum Steve Rogers, Protective Steve Rogers, Steve Rogers Feels, Steve Rogers Needs a Hug, Steve Rogers and the 21st Century
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-17
Updated: 2019-03-29
Packaged: 2019-11-21 16:01:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 8
Words: 14,490
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18144362
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/daggersofLoki/pseuds/capsicle_joy
Summary: Your life was anything but ordinary - it comes with the package of being an Avenger - but it was never ordinary. You were diagnosed with a phobia at a very young age but the last thing you were to do was let it define you. When Tony Stark recruits you for a mission with the man you have been in love with since you met him all those years ago, and Steve tells you the plan, you are left torn and terrified. You could either cower away and avoid risking your life, or you could stand up and destroy the enemy, doing exactly what you'd been living for: forbidding Thalassophobia from controlling your life and allowing freedom to wash over you like the very thing you were afraid of.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey everyone!
> 
> This is the first part of my very first series "Fear on Fire!" The plan for this is around 3-5 parts, maybe more depending on how far the storyline takes me. I'm hoping to post a new part every week but if I'm busy it will be every 2 weeks. Or, you know, I might post more than 1 part in a week so it just depends. This will have angst and fluff, and maybe even smut! ;)

"Miss Y/N, Tony has requested your presence in the lab." F.R.I.D.A.Y.'s voice sounded throughout your mess of a bedroom and you raked a hand through your greasy hair after rubbing your sticky eyelids. You could feel your three-day-old makeup smear across your face and pulled your hand away only to see it coated across your hand as well. Your incomplete report sat atop piles of extra paperwork fury had assigned you, and your laptop screen's brightness was turned almost all the way down. Your eyelids drifted closed but you forced yourself to remain awake as you used your legs to push your chair from the desk and stood up.

"Tell him I'm on my way," You responded, fatigue clear in your voice, and not to mention your actions, as you smoothed your skirt down and ruffled your blouse. "Thanks, F.R.I.D.A.Y."

"You're welcome, Miss."

Smoothing your (H/L) (H/C) hair down, you stepped from your bedroom and all but walked to the elevator. Your endeavor was to look formal in front of the Avengers, except for when on missions, but this would have to be one of the rare times they saw you tired and the least presentable, besides the skirt and blouse you wore. You sighed and stepped into the moving box that would take you almost directly to the lab.

You had a rare phobia that put you victim to a lot. The only people who knew were your parents, who had done everything but support you, and your best friend throughout high school. The Avengers had yet to know and they wouldn't be told anytime soon. The doctors called it Thalassophobia, but you only saw it as a silly fear of the ocean. You hated it - more than anything - but what was there to do about it? Not much but you would learn to live with it, at least that was your hope.

The elevator dinged softly, informing you that you reached your requested level and you inhaled deeply as the doors slid open. You stepped onto the platform and walked the few steps there were to the lab. You spotted Tony and headed in his direction, making sure to avoid any kind of contraption that could be inflicted on you. You greeted the man whilst eyeing your surroundings, clandestinely, of course.

"Morning, Stark." You watched his expression change and suppressed the smile that threatened to tug at the corner of your mouth. He finally glanced over to you and his eyes widened momentarily.

"Jesus, sweetheart. Rough night?"

"Shut up, Tony."

He chuckled and you shot him a glare, silently asking him why he 'requested your presence'. "I have a mission for you, and it's a tough one so I thought maybe you could use a partner." You lifted your eyebrows when he paused and remained quiet, urging him to continue. "As you should already know, Clint, Nat, Thor, Wanda, Bruce, and Bucky are across the world which leaves one who's just healed from an injury and is excited to get back in the game." Tony winked, clearly seeing the connection between you and Steve and you mentally facepalmed.

"One of these days, I'm gonna kill you, Stark."

"I'd like to see you try."

A heavy roll of your eyes shut the man up and you released a groan, venturing to remain quiet but Tony heard it. And, of course, he teased you about your 'crush' for the rest of the time you stayed in the lab.

Eventually, you had had enough and you left the lab and headed back to your bedroom to freshen up. Turning the knob farther and farther left until the water was the perfect temperature, you released a burdened exhale as the water ran down your back. You cleaned yourself thoroughly, spending presumably an hour under the showerhead before wrapping a fluffy towel around your body and carefully leaving the shower.

Your mind was overwhelmed with thoughts about the mission. You hadn't asked Tony about it and he didn't provide any details about it. You were focused on your nonchalance to guarantee that your secrets remained - well - secrets.

Why you were an Avenger despite your fear was beyond you. You assumed it was because you didn't want to let your fear define you, but you must have been willing to risk a lot considering you were surrounded by fear almost every day. After all, you would never have met Steve if you declined the offer Nick Fury had given you.

Three soft knocks on your door startled you from your thoughts and you began throwing clothes on. Whoever it was probably didn't want to see you in just a towel.

"Just a second!" Throwing a pair of joggers on and a tight-fitting shirt, you quickly combed your fingers through your damp hair and opened the bathroom door, relieved when you saw that the person who knocked had politely remained outside your bedroom. You began retrieving objects and articles of clothing from the floor and tossing them in their designated places as quickly as you could, hoping the person hadn't become bored and left. Your room was only a mess because you had been beyond busy the past three days, hence the smeared makeup and repeated outfit.

"Y/N? Are you alright?" Your heart rate sped up at the sound of the almost angelic voice speaking through the door and you ventured to contain your trembling hands.

"Uh... I'm fine!" You exclaimed in a high-pitched voice, which resulted in you clearing your throat. You glanced around the room one last time and told yourself it was good enough.

'He probably won't even walk past the doorway,' You thought as you wrapped you shaking fingers around the doorknob and twisted it, pulling it open to reveal the blue eyes and broad soldiers of Steve Rogers.

"H-hi." You wanted to punch yourself. Damn you and your social anxiety. "Do you need something?" You mentally nodded, thinking that didn't sound too bad if anything.

"W-well, I came because I figured Stark didn't tell you much about the mission." He offered a closed-mouth smile, the faint blush on his cheeks because of your appearance not going unnoticed. No makeup, wet hair, and comfortable clothing was not something he had seen you endure before. But if he was being honest, he kind of liked it.

"Oh, jeez. I'm sorry, I-"

"No, it's okay. I'm just... not used to seeing you like this."

You nodded and failed to control your erratic breathing. "Come in." You stepped aside and allowed him to step inside your bedroom. "Sorry about the mess. Fury's got me doing reports and paperwork right now."

He shook his head and chuckled. "It's clean, Y/N."

"Well, it wasn't earlier."

"Is that why you were grunting?" He teased gently and you felt heat rush to your cheeks. You glanced away and released an embarrassed laugh. "It's alright. It was cute."

You and Steve were close, super close, but your growing crush was something you needed to push down because it was bound to ruin your friendship. Besides, who would want to be in a relationship with someone who was afraid of the ocean? How lame was that?

You blushed a scarlet red at his comment and your tongue subconsciously pushed through your lips and brushed the sensitive flesh slowly, as if you were deep in thought. You shook your head and smiled softly before fixing your gaze back on the tall man. You guided him across the bedroom after closing your door and sat on your made bed, prompting him to come over and sit beside you.

"What's the plan?"

"HYDRA has a lair that we missed. There have been rumors that they are trying to make an army of people who have powers no one has seen before, much like Doctor Erskin and the serum. Stark doesn't know what those powers are, but he does know where the lair is and how we're going to get there." Steve spoke as he always did, confident and knowledgeable, regarding the mission and what to do, and you listened carefully, occasionally nodding at something he said.

"Wait, so all we have to do is kill everyone before they make an army?"

"It's never that simple, but yes, that's what Tony said. There is one issue though."

"What is it?"

"It's in a submarine in the Atlantic and it's always moving no matter what. It might be hard to find."

Steve words caused your heart to practically stop beating. Your throat felt like it closed and your eyes began to sting as if tears were about to fill them up and pour out. Just thinking about the ocean made you sick to your stomach and caused you to have severe indications of terror.

But you couldn't panic in front of him. It would reveal everything you had tried hiding from them for years. Of course Tony would send you on a mission that wasn't near the ocean, but in the ocean.

"Y/N? Are you okay?"

Your heart was pounding against your ribcage and your blood, pumping through your veins without mercy. The lump in your throat grew to an overwhelming size and you did the only thing you could think of. You stood from the bed and retreated to the bathroom as quickly and calmly as you could.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys!
> 
> Here's part 2! It's a bit longer, sitting at about 2.6K words, but it's super important for the story, so don't mistake it as a filler chapter! As always, happy reading!

The only sound you heard was your own labored breathing as you rocked back and forth upon the cold bathroom floor. Your eyes were closed so tightly you were sure they were about to pop from the pressure, but you refused to release the tension. Somehow, tears managed to pass through your closed eyelids as your body suppressed to give in to the sobs that threatened to rack your body. Your throat was almost sore from how tight you had been holding it to maintain your wails.

Of course, your body would give in to a panic attack, and right as Steve knocked on the bathroom door. You wished you could stop the fear from taking over your body, but once you crossed that line, there was no coming back until it was over. Once the ribbon snapped there was nothing you could do but wait for your fear to deliberately leave your body. It could be minutes, hours, or days. You never knew.

Steve's panicked voice broke through the voices that screamed in your ears, telling you that you were weak, that you were a scaredy-cat, and that you should have been over the fear once you reached middle school. "(Y/N), what's wrong?"

You released a whimper and held your knees closer to your chest. Your stomach dropped upon the realization that you never locked the door but there was nothing you could do about it. You were stuck in that position with limited movement until the panic attack passed. You managed to move your body to the side and turn it ninety degrees until your back rested against the drywall but that was your only choice. You could only hope Steve wouldn't come in. But, what were the odds of that? Extremely thin, you assumed.

"(Y/N), Darling, I'm coming in."

The pet name seemed to control your breathing, but only for a millisecond before you realized he was coming into the bathroom. You wanted to speak, to scream, telling him to stay outside the bathroom. That you were okay. That you just needed a minute. But, your throat had already closed up. You were struggling to breathe, much less speak, so you were left with nothing. You just had to sit and wait it out, hoping Steve didn't suspect anything.

The door opened slowly, but as soon as Steve's eyes landed on your frail body lying limp on the floor against the wall, with your knees being held tightly to your chest, he felt his heartbeat increase. He rushed over to you and dropped to the floor, checking for any wounds. Finding nothing, he realized what was happening to you. He wrapped his muscular arms around your trembling form and rocked you both back and forth, whispering sweet nothings and encouraging words into your ear, but you didn't comprehend what he was saying.

You gave up on holding everything in and the dam broke, sending your tears past your eyelids faster and faster as you sobbed and wailed in his arms. He held you the entire time, feeling his heart break ever so slowly at your broken form. He had never seen you cry before, and seeing you bawling your eyes out in his arms was heart-wrenching.

"It's okay, you're okay. I've got you, (Y/N). I'm right here." He hushed you quietly and held you tightly, never wanting to let go.

Your cries began to die down and you peeled your eyes open, finally realizing where you were and what happened. Your heart dropped into your stomach and you pulled away from Steve with wide eyes. The wave of dread that crashed over you was more than enough to encourage you to leave the bathroom. With your right hand raised to cover your mouth, you bolted from the bathroom, ignoring Steve's protests, and ran to the elevator. Once inside, you kneeled down and sat in the far left corner and told F.R.I.D.A.Y. to escort you to the top level of the tower as slowly as the elevator could go.

It took the elevator a few minutes to reach the top, which you were thankful for, and you avoided stops as well which caused relief to flood through you. The top of the tower was wide open, with lots of space for Tony to land in the Iron Man suit, and the Quinjet to land, and you inhaled deeply, the smell of rain on the pavement reaching your nostrils. You headed over to the ledge and, without looking down, admired the city that laid before you. The afternoon sun disappeared behind a cloud as the sound of midday traffic echoed from below you. Your gaze lifted to the dark rainclouds that moved slowly above you and you exhaled sharply. 

Your mind drifted to Steve and his reaction to the whole thing. Would he look at you differently knowing that you hadn't told him the whole truth? Would he hate you? Maybe he would choose to avoid you. You hadn't a clue, but you hoped that he forgave you because you cared about him too much to have to bypass him every day. And the worst part was: he didn't even know.

You heard the elevator ding in the distance and you cursed softly, remaining in place to wait for the person - most likely Steve - to reveal themselves. But you were greeted by a different voice.

"(Y/N), what are you doing up here?" Tony walked over to you and leaned his elbows against the ledge to the left of you. His position caused him to be slightly shorter than you and he offered a small smile as he glanced up at you.

You sighed and shook your head, raking a hand through your hair, and hoped your red, puffy eyes weren't too obvious. "I needed... some fresh air," You lied and kept your gaze on the skyscraper   
you could see from your spot near the ledge.

Tony nodded and stood straight before placing a comforting hand on your left shoulder. "You should probably get ready. You're leaving tonight around five."

You nodded and smiled, attempting to push the uneasy feeling down and show some excitement for the dangerous mission ahead of you. "Thanks, Tony." With a subtle nod of acknowledgment, you turned from him causing his hand to fall from your shoulder and walked away with pep in your step. You had to sell it, or else Tony would get hesitant and choose someone else to go on this mission. Then again, that sounded so much better to you than having to go. But, you couldn't. You had to prove yourself. You had to prove you could earn a significant spot on the team. 

You stepped into the elevator and told F.R.I.D.A.Y. to take you to your level. With confidence, you stood in the see-through elevator with head held high in case someone from outside could see, they would know how much confidence you had, even if in reality you had none. The moving box sped past every level but yours, dropping you off in your familiar hallway as F.R.I.D.A.Y. informed you of your level before you stepped from the elevator and onto the platform. You wasted no time pushing through the door to your bedroom, only to have your heart sink and your confidence wither away. Sitting upon your bed with a beyond worried look on his face, was Steve.

You closed the door behind you, gaining Steve's attention and offered a kind smile, acting as if the quarrel from earlier had never happened. "Hey, Steve! What's up?" You headed over to your closet and pulled out a regular-sized duffle bag to pack your necessities in.

"I'm worried about you, (Y/N)."

You turned around and pulled a bewildered glance. "What? Why?" You hoped he wouldn't see through your act, but the chances of that were remarkably low. He was there the entire time you had a panic attack and you were bound to be showered in questions about why you panicked and what was wrong.

"(Y/N)," Steve warned and you sighed.

"Look, I know you suspect things now, but I need you to do me a favor and forget it ever happened. You don't need to worry about me, Steve. I'm perfectly fine. I can handle it. You of all people know that."

His worry wavered for a second as his gaze dropped from you and towards something else in the room but it found yours again quicker than it left. "I know, but (Y/N), I was there. I was with you while you... panicked. Now it has me worried something's happening that you aren't telling me about. You know you can tell me anything."

You swallowed thickly and shook your head before sitting down beside him on the bed. You were torn. You knew how important trust was to Steve, but you couldn't tell him. He would think you were weak and useless if you told him your biggest fear was the ocean and that it wasn't just a fear. It was a phobia. There's a big difference and you were terrified he wouldn't understand.  
"I know. I know how important trust is to you, but Steve, you just don't understand." You swallowed the growing lump in your throat and cursed your eyes for filling with salty tears as you spoke.

"Understand what?"

"I can't tell you. I just can't. I know how much it bothers you, but you have to trust me. I promise I'll tell when the time is right, but right now..." You trailed off and glanced away.

"I... I understand. But, (Y/N), there's nothing you could tell me that would cause me to leave. I care about you too much."

Your heart fluttered and you let a smile control your facial features. He was right, and you needed to stick to your promise. You would tell him. Eventually. "I care about you too, Steve. More than   
you know."

He nodded and smiled before standing up. "I'll be back around four-thirty to check up on you." He turned to leave but you called after him.

"Steve, wait." He turned around and his head tilted ever so slightly. "Thank you for helping me through that."

Understanding exactly what you were talking about, he nodded and smiled before turning back around and exiting your bedroom. Maybe this mission wouldn't be so bad after all.

 

After packing everything you might need but with the least amount of bulk, you smiled and reached for your stealth suit. It was forest green with spikes lining the arms and legs. You were powerful, having the power of nature on your side, but new to being an Avenger after discovering your powers while hiking in the forest. You had the power to control all things Earth: trees, dirt, grass, iron, rocks, and the works. You couldn't control fire, water, air, wind or any of the things that aligned with other powers of nature but you were okay with that. You were powerful enough as it was.

You stripped of your lounging clothes and put the large suit on, pressing the button in the center for it to fit your size: the perks of having your suit made by Tony Stark. Glancing at the clock, you frowned when it read 4:27. It was almost time to leave and you were a nervous wreck. Your heart rate increased when you realized something: Steve only knew of your powers. He had never seen you in action before, nor had he seen you in your suit. Your eyes flicked around the room as you thought of something to cover yourself with but you cursed quietly when a knock sounded on your door.

"Come in!" You called and turned around, acting as if you were busy packing the last of your things. It wasn't entirely a lie. You still needed to place your bathroom bag in your duffle bag which you happily did as soon as Steve stepped through the door, before you turned to him, brushing your hands on your thighs to rid them of the nonexistent dirt that you faked had collected there. You smiled as you turned towards him, blushing when you saw his eyes widen and his cheeks turn a light shade of pink.

"W-Whoa..." He stammered and you laughed softly before noticing him clad in his stealth suit as well. But, you'd seen him in it a thousand times. This would be the first time he had seen you in yours. He neared you and reached out to caress one of the spikes that laid along your bicep. "May I?" He asked as his hand hovered over the spike. You could feel heat radiating off him from the close proximity and blushed before nodding. He ran his fingers along the side of the spike to the edge but before you had enough time to warn him, he had already pricked his finger on the spike. He frowned at the blood that dripped from the tip of his finger and you giggled.

"Sorry, I was about to warn you that they're sharp but I was too late." He smiled at the sound of your soothing laughter and shook his head. It wasn't like it hurt, he was just surprised that a suit was able to draw blood, even if he barely touched the sharp edge.

"It's alright." He smiled and lifted his gaze.

You walked to the bathroom and grabbed a tissue before retreating to hand it to him. "Here." He thanked you and wiped the blood from his finger gently before tossing the tissue into the trash. You took his hand and lifted the finger to your lips, pressing a soft kiss to the slightly injured flesh before pulling away and giggling. "There. All better."

He blushed deeply and smiled before dropping his gaze to the floor. "It looks like you're packed and ready. You can put your bag in the Quinjet. It's waiting on the top floor."

"I was just up there," You mumbled quietly, remembering why you went up there.

"I'm sorry?" Steve asked, not hearing what you said but you shook your head and smiled.

"Nothing. I'll go put my stuff up there." You left the room and sighed deeply, your nerves causing your stomach to swirl and churn like a butter-churner from the 1800s. You knew you would be fine, but you couldn't shake the feeling that you were going to be underwater in a moving vessel for a long amount of time.

 

After putting your bag in the already running Quinjet, you headed down to Steve's quarters, which was conveniently located one level below yours. The elevator doors opened just as Steve had exited his room with his own bag. He smiled upon spotting you and greeting you politely even though the last time you had seen each other was only around ten minutes prior.

"Hi," You responded with a forced smile as Steve entered the elevator.

"We'll tell Stark we're leaving and then head to the Atlantic." Steve smiled and you swallowed thickly and nodded, fiddling with your hands as the elevator began moving.

You accompanied Steve as he told Tony you were going and he wished you luck before sending a wink your way. You scoffed quietly before turning around and heading back to the elevator, telling F.R.I.D.A.Y. to take you both back to the top level.

Once you reached the top level and entered the Quinjet, your nerves really began to hit you and you exhaled shakily as the Quinjet lifted into the air and began taking off. Steve put the jet on autopilot and walked over to you.

"Are you sure you're okay?" He kneeled before you and you nodded and offered a smile.

"I'm fine. Just take us to the Atlantic as fast as you can." You popped your knuckles, only to distract yourself and Steve from the situation and he nodded before heading back to the jet to put it on full power. And you knew, in that moment of the Quinjet speeding up, that you wouldn't make it.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey there!
> 
> Here's part 3! This will now be a 5-10 part fic so stay tuned! This is pretty graphic so read at your own risk! It's just part of the reader's fear so I would rate this 14+.

"What's the plan, Cap?" You forced your hands to stop trembling from fear as you lifted your tired eyes up to meet Steve's. You were about twenty minutes from the submarine and you were beyond petrified. The excessive radiation of heat coming from the center of the ocean was enough of a clue for you and Steve to assume that that was where the submarine was located, but your only wish was for it to be a false alarm so that you could go back to the compound and hide from the people who were bound to suspect things soon enough.

Your heart thumped against your ribcage and the pounding repeated in your ears, reminding you of the thing you and Steve were flying above and had been flying above the past few hours. You evaded your eyes from the large windows that showed the entire landscape before you, which to you was only dark water that would swallow you whole if you were to fall in. It wouldn't allow you to scream for help, and its creatures would eat your flesh just seconds after the oxygen was ripped from your lungs.

"Tell F.R.I.D.A.Y. to land the Quinjet safely and then jump into the water and swim our way to the submarine. It should be surfacing in a few minutes." Steve shifted his weight and turned towards you as he spoke but kept his eyes on the view through the front windows of the jet. He was deep in thought, probably going over his plan again to ensure it was satisfactory for the mission.

Meanwhile, you had to grit your teeth, clench your jaw, and squeeze about every muscle in your body to prevent yourself from going into a panic again. You remained in your place, sitting on the floor with your legs in front of you and your arms to your sides as you focused on the spikes and patterns on your stealth suit in an attempt to regulate your breathing. 

You finally processed Steve's words and you almost cried out, begging him to take you back to the compound, to abort the mission, to scream that you had Thalassophobia and that you couldn't do it, but that wasn't an option anymore. It was too late. Besides, you couldn't let your fear control your life anymore. You were sick and tired of having it hold you back. But swimming, in the deepest part of the ocean without a lifejacket or anything? It was probably the scariest thing you had ever thought about, and you would be doing it in a matter of minutes.

Or seconds.

"It's surfacing. Ready your weapons and I'll open the door. F.R.I.D.A.Y. land this jet somewhere safe and lock it up after we leave." Steve glanced over to you as F.R.I.D.A.Y. replied in her usual monotone voice and nodded as he watched you stand and prepare for battle. "It's gonna be cold water. We're in the Atlantic. But don't focus on that. Focus on the mission and no matter what, do not stop moving your arms and legs. Got it?"

You nodded, stomach swirling and blood becoming cold in your veins. He was right. It was going to be the coldest water you'd ever been in contact with but as long as you listened to Steve and maybe even tried not focusing on the fact that it was the ocean, you would be fine. You were stronger than a human, so maybe you were like Steve and weren't affected by cold water or any of that 'human stuff'.

"Good. I'll lower the jet so we won't need parachutes."

"It's not like you use them anyway," You mumbled, under your breath, but Steve's super soldier hearing caught it and he chuckled softly. You cursed softly and realized what you said and that you cursed. "Sorry."

He smiled and shook his head, grabbing his shield from the floor and placing it on the clip on his back before turning back around to face you. "Ready?"

"As I'll ever be."

He slowly lowered the Quinjet until you could see the water and pressed the button to open the door. You felt the water hit you from your speed and the close proximity but you tried forgetting about that as you walked over and stood next to Steve. You began whispering to yourself that you could do it - that you would survive - but the negative thoughts would always outnumber the positive ones.

"Okay, on three." Steve paused and inhaled deeply. causing you to do the same. "One..." You grabbed his hand and wrapped your digits around the side of his pinkie finger. You thought about lacing your fingers with his but decided against that. He firmly gripped your hand and offered a reassuring smile. "Two... Three!" 

You both jumped from the Quinjet and began falling right as the submarine surfaced. You braced yourself for the cold water and when it came, your body just about froze in fear and from the temperature of the water. You tried moving your arms and legs like Steve had told you, but it ended up looking like you were drowning. You glanced over and saw him offer you a look of worry and confusion.

"I..." You dug through your brain and tried thinking of something to tell him. He was getting suspicious and you both knew that the submarine would only be above water for a few minutes to gather more oxygen. "I'm not a great swimmer," You lied and he seemed to buy it.

"Just a bit longer, alright? Try not to be so abrupt. Follow my movement." You watched as he glided through the water slowly and effortlessly and attempted to copy it. "They probably already know we're here but we don't want to attract more attention than we need to." He smiled and began swimming faster. You kept up with him, and the thought that you were in the ocean completely slipped your mind. You were just... swimming with Steve, which was a pleasant thought.

In a short amount of time, you reached the submarine and Steve helped you to the top. You slowly walked across the vessel, careful to keep your footsteps quiet and watched Steve twist the latch to open the door. He jumped down into the submarine first in case you needed help, which you did, and helped you down before you glanced around seeing only darkness. You were both lucky you arrived late at night because not a soul was awake. At least, that's what you thought.

Steve must have heard them, seeing that he stepped in front of you and pulled his shield from his back, protecting you both from whatever was there. Suddenly, the lights switched on and you squinted before the figures stepped forward. Your heart began beating as you watched the HYDRA agents walk towards you and that's when Steve slowly turned around, finally noticing that you were both surrounded.

You couldn't process what was happening until you were being taken away from Steve who was attempting to fight off more than twenty HYDRA agents at once. And that's when you screamed. You screamed and kicked, throttling your body to escape the agents but it was no use. You had no powers because you were surrounded by water which was not one of your elements.

The last thing you remembered was screaming Steve's name before everything went black, and you were forced into unconsciousness.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey there!
> 
> Here's part 4! This is pretty graphic, kind of like part 3, so read at your own risk. I'm super excited for this because this will now be 6-10 parts long! Happy reading!

Everything was a blur as you came to, taking a second before peeling your eyes open partly to examine your surroundings clandestinely. The room was dark, with limited natural light provided and you swallowed your fear. Your limbs began to tremble as your eyelids fully separated. You were surrounded in glass windows, most likely at the bottom of the submarine, revealing everything that dwelt within the ocean right before your eyes. Your wrists and ankles were tied together with the glass windows behind you and in front of you. You could see the dark water moving from the ocean's creatures and from the movement underwater and you had the urge to either cry out for help or burst into a fit of sobs.

With the color of the water, you could only assume it was around eight or nine in the evening which meant that everything you were terrified of was roaming the waters behind and in front of you. You remembered what the doctor said about your phobia and you shuddered.

'Everyone is different. Some people fear the ocean because of the large masses of water it possesses, and others because of what's in the ocean. But, those are all forms of thalassophobia.'

You weren't sure if you were either. Most likely both, but your only worry at that moment was if the floor beneath you would collapse and you would fall into the depths of the ocean and drown or be eaten alive all before you could confess your love to Steve Rogers. That was it. Your heartbeat increased as soon as you realized what you needed to do. No matter what the circumstances, the next time you saw Steve you would tell him. You were overcome by an urge to rip the ropes that bound you from your wrists and ankles and find him yourself.

You glanced down at the spikes that remained attached to your embroidered suit and bit your lip. If you could just twist your right arm slightly to the right behind you, you'd be able to cut the ropes off that connected your arms. It would hurt like hell but it would bring you one step closer to Steve.

Using all the strength you had, you twisted your arm in the least comfortable position and began working at the thick rope. A strangled cry vibrated your throat but you bit the inside of your lip and continued moving your arm back and forth. In your peripheral vision, you kept your eye on the ocean through the window whilst the rope prepared to snap. 

Once it snapped, you froze and made sure you hadn't been caught. You seemed to be in the clear, but as soon as you allowed your shoulders to relax, you heard a click and then silence for about five seconds before one of the windows across from you slid to the side like a panel and began permitting cold water into the large room. It felt like your heart had beat its way into your throat, cutting off the air supply to your lungs. Panic began flooding through you as you back away from the open panel and to the far wall.

"No, no, no, no, no, no, no," You pressed your back to the wall and slid down while your arms began wrapping around your head. This could not be happening. You couldn't prevent the panic attack from taking over your muscles and body so you let it. It was the only option you had left. You were going to die.

Your eyes subconsciously squeezed shut and a broken sob passed through your lips. The sound of the cold water filling the bottom of the submarine caused more hot tears to cascade down your cheeks. You had no clue how they managed to keep the vessel running despite the amount of water that was filling it, but it was HYDRA. Who knew the kind of technology they had access to?

You assumed they would continue filling the room with water but as soon as the heavy footsteps of someone nearing you became louder, your initial thoughts changed. You didn't think you could become even more afraid but you were mistaken as someone wrapped their grimy fingers around your bicep and yanked you from the floor.

"You shouldn't have messed with your ropes, sweetheart." His hot breath fanned across your neck as he whispered in your ear and you resisted the urge to gag. The pet name made you sick to your stomach but you shook the feeling off and attempted to open your tightly shut eyes. But, your panic attack had other ideas, preventing you from moving a muscle.

The man struggled to drag you alongside him and he let out a string of curses as you fell limp against him. He tried pushing you away but your muscles refused to move. He practically shoved you over to the open window and smirked when you cried out in fear.

"What, are you afraid of a little water?" The cold water splashed against your suit and you cursed Tony. He should have made your suit so that you could be in water without feeling the water. Similar to a water-proof stealth suit, but, of course, he wouldn't because he had no clue what your fear was.

You whimpered softly and clenched your jaw with gritted teeth. If you could move your muscles, the man would be on the ground most likely dead, but you couldn't even keep your form upright. You were leaned against the disgusting ape who was much weaker than he looked. Why would HYDRA send their weakest agent to handle you? Did they really think so little of you?

"Don't worry darling, he doesn't care about you. I checked." The man snickered and pushed you an inch closer to the open ocean as he spoke.

Your breathing felt as if it stopped, your heartbeat feeling distant as you processed his words. Steve didn't care about you? That couldn't be true. You were best friends for heaven's sake. This man had to be lying. But, what if he wasn't? What would you do if the man you were in love with had never even cared about you whatsoever? You hadn't a clue.

"That's right. You love him, don't you? Too bad the feeling isn't mutual." The man tsked a couple of times and pushed you closer to the ledge once more. How did he know you loved Steve? And how was he so sure that Steve didn't feel the same? "He wouldn't even look your way if you fell into this deep, dark ocean and drowned. He told me himself."

You couldn't hit him, punch him, kick him in his nether regions or anything. You were completely useless. All you could do was cry and beg him to pull you back, which was not going to work. "You're... lying." Your voice was about to give up on you and you swallowed your anger and fear as you spat nasty words directed towards the agent.

"See, I'm not. Sorry, love, but I have no other options. You have no one to save you. Oh, and call me." He winked and shoved you off the ledge completely. 

The body of water engulfed you and you began to panic. You had no oxygen left and your lungs were screaming at you to breathe but if you breathed you would drown. Since the submarine was so close to the bottom of the ocean, it didn't take long for you to hit the ocean floor and you wanted to scream out and cry when you felt seaweed and coral brush against you. You couldn't open your eyes because of the salt in the water but you didn't want to. You didn't want to see what surrounded you.

All of a sudden, you felt something thrash at you and a searing pain coursed through your veins. It was coming from your left leg. You let out a blood-curdling scream and felt heat surround you before a pair of muscular arms wrapped around you and you began moving upwards before complete darkness surrounded you.

 

You woke up and immediately felt a sharp pain in your left leg. You hissed and whimpered softly but a pair of strong, warm arms tightened their hold on you and you almost squealed from happiness with the hope of knowing who it was. It wasn't until you heard his voice that you felt true relief flood through you.

"You're okay, (Y/N). We're almost there, I promise." Steve gently hushed you as he held you and you finally gained the courage to open your eyes. You were in the Quinjet - Steve must have killed all the HYDRA agents or abandoned the mission - and Steve's appearance caused your heart to shatter. He had red, puffy eyes as if he had been crying and he was covered in blood which you could only hope wasn't his.

Then you remembered what the man said and you were one-hundred-percent positive that he was lying just to worry you. Yes, so that your last thought was that Steve didn't love you. 

You shook all thoughts away and sat up slowly, glancing around you for comfort. You almost sighed of relief until you saw your right leg stretched out before you, but your left leg nowhere in sight. You flicked your eyes across the floor where your left leg was supposed to be and your heartbeat quickened when you saw the large open wound and your leg no longer attached. It was gone.

The pain finally kicked in and you attempted to muffle your scream with your hand as you slowly leaned back to lay against the cold floor of the vessel. You felt a few hot tears stream across your cheeks and a strangled cry welled up in your throat.

Steve began hushing you softly as you cried and he rocked you back and forth, pressing soft kisses to your crown in an attempt to calm you down. "I've got you, Baby. You're safe."

"S-Steve," You hiccuped softly, "W-What happened?" You managed to choke out as you attempted to regulate your breathing and not think about the searing pain in your leg or the pet name he had called you. Your voice was hoarse from screaming and your entire body ached.

"You were attacked by a shark." Steve stroked your hair as he spoke and your eyes widened. "He took your leg with him." Even in times of sadness, anger or chaos, Steve still managed to bring a smile to your face. "But, you'll be fine. We're almost to the compound. I called Tony and he said Doctor Cho will be able to help."

You nodded and winced when the movement affected your wound. Inhaling deeply through your nose, you closed your eyes to find closure or something along the lines of it while Steve kissed your temple and stood to take the Quinjet off of autopilot and safely land you two at the Avenger's compound. Going back to what you told yourself before you made it to the submarine, you couldn't have been closer. You barely made it out alive.

 

After Steve flawlessly landed the jet, he picked you up bridal style and began carrying you into the compound. He was running as fast as he could without injuring you further and the shredded remains of the left leg of your suit flapped against you as you held onto him.

He burst through the doors and continued running at the same pace until he got to the medical department. Doctor Cho was already there, preparing the table for you to be placed upon, and Tony was standing off to the side. As soon as Steve ran in, everything turned to chaos. He placed you on the table and offered an uplifting smile before looking towards Doctor Cho with worry etched into his handsome features.

"Don't worry, Captain. She'll be fine. Just give me a few hours to work on her and you'll see her up and walking in less than twenty-four hours." She flashed a kind smile and Steve nodded. She kindly ushered Steve and Tony out of the room and began her procedure.

 

"What happened, Rogers? All I got from the call was that (Y/N) was hurt and I needed to call Doctor Cho." Tony rose his eyebrows as Steve fidgeted with his hands.

"It's a long story."

"I have time."

Steve sighed and shook his head before inhaling deeply through his mouth. "We got inside the submarine and they captured us immediately. We got separated and I escaped. I tried killing every agent that was on the way to (Y/N) but when I got to her, I watched a man push her out the open window that had been letting in water. Long story, short, I killed the man and jumped through the window just as she was attacked by a shark."

"A shark? Like a Great White?"

Steve nodded. "Exactly."

"Damn. So the shark just... bit her leg off and left?"

"Pretty much." He paused and thought about his next words. "I pulled her with me back to the submarine and surfaced it. We needed to get here quickly so I asked F.R.I.D.A.Y. to bring the Quinjet over and pick us up."

Tony nodded and patted Steve's bicep. "Now's your chance. Tell her how you feel."

"I can't."

"Why not?"

"I heard the man tell her I didn't care about her. She hates me now." Steve swallowed the lump in his throat and shook his head vigorously.

"No, she doesn't. I saw how she was looking at you when you brought her in. Just tell her." Steve sighed deeply and nodded. "You can thank me later, Capsicle."

Steve rolled his eyes and turned around. You would be fine. He knew it. You were stronger than you looked. Hell, you were stronger than him. You would be perfectly fine.

 

The sound of something beeping softly in the distant awoke you from your deep slumber and you swallowed thickly whilst peeling your glued-shut eyes open. You were immediately met with the comforting smell of the compound and Steve's voice in the distance. You smiled and cleared your throat before sitting up, and remembered you were minus a limb. Dread filled you as you glanced down at the blanket that rested upon your waist. You eyes lingered on the missing lump where your leg should have been and began fidgeting with your fingers.

"She's awake." The sound of a familiar voice caused your ears to perk up and you looked in the direction of the voice, finding Doctor Cho. You smiled at her and she returned the gesture before an extremely relieved-looking Steve Rogers walked into the room. As soon as your eyes met, an ear-splitting grin found its way onto his face and he practically ran over to you, wrapping his arms around your form gently.

"I'm so glad you're okay." Steve thought about what Tony said but changed his mind at the last second. You needed some time to process and he didn't want to overwhelm you with any more news.

You smiled and held him tightly, inhaling his scent which seemed to calm you down a lot. Then you realized what you had to do. "Steve?"

"Hmm?"

"I have to tell you something." You ignored your nerves and gently pulled away from the super soldier. You were waiting for the perfect time and this was it.

"Yeah?"

"I... I have thalassophobia."


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey there!
> 
> This is... pretty awful so without spoilers I'm warning you now that there's a chance you might hate me for writing this. Not sure I can say this for this part but happy reading! Haha.

Steve's hope diminished as soon as the sentence came out of your mouth. His stomach seemingly dropped and his heart shriveled up as he observed your despaired facial features. It seemed as if all hope had been lost as Steve averted his gaze from you and thought about what you said. Thalassophobia? It sounded awful. He was torn between asking what it was or just nodding and never forcing you to speak about it again. He swallowed the thick, protruding lump in his throat and tore his eyes away from the wall when you spoke up.

"Do you know what it is?" You spoke softly, your heart thumping loudly against your ribcage and your stomach tied in a knot as you watched his crystal clear eyes meet yours once again. Everything seemed to slow down as you stared into his colorful irises and you let the ghost of a smile maintain your features, but only for a second until you remembered what you were supposed to be doing.

You cleared your throat which broke Steve from his trance and he shook his head gently. "N-no. I... I don't." He pursed his lips before opening his mouth to speak again, except nothing came out. He was at a loss for words and was once again torn between changing the topic or asking about it. "I'm sorry, I-"

"No, it's okay. It's not important anyway." You shrugged him off, assuming that he was apologizing because he didn't care to know what it was. You would never admit that it hurt you that he didn't care, but why would he? Sure, you were close but he probably didn't care to lift any burdens off your shoulders and onto his.

"What? No, I'm sorry that I don't know what it is. I'm sorry that I need you to tell me what it is." He paused and his eyes widened slightly. "I-I mean, only if you're comfortable." He winced and shook his head at himself. Whatever it was, it was probably your biggest burden, your biggest regret even though it wasn't your fault you had it.

You put your arms behind you on the bed and lifted yourself up, changing your position on the bed to fill the awkward silence that resulted in you not knowing what to do or say next. You about to open your mouth again, when Tony entered the room with a dramatic smile on his face.

"She's awake! How are you, honey?" He shot Steve an acknowledging nod before fixing his chocolate eyes on your (E/C) ones.

You groaned and leaned farther back into the mattress. "Can it, Tony." Your mind drifted to the leg you no longer had and a familiar pain began throbbing in your upper thigh - the only part of your left leg that still remained. "You're lucky I'm not blaming you for this." You gestured to your leg and kept the memories locked down. The only person you could legitimately hide your pain and fear in front of was Tony. It had always been that way. But you weren't sure how much longer you could last.

"What?" Tony scoffed and rolled his eyes. "Not my fault."

"Oh, my bad. I didn't realize you weren't the one who sent me on this mission." You returned the gesture of rolled eyes and resisted the urge to kick him with the only functioning leg you had left.

"Okay, alright. That's enough." Steve stood from the bed and glared at Tony before leaving the rooms. He had plans of coming back later but he realized that you were right and didn't want to start a fight with Tony. He already argued with him enough as it was.

"Why don't we get you up and walking? Doctor Cho!" He turned away from you and smiled as Helen walked over. "Can we get her walking?"

"Yes, but I need to explain a few things first." She grabbed her clipboard and headed over to the side of the bed after shooing Tony out of the room. "The wound is clean and we did have to remove more of the limb because of the way the shark bit you, but it wasn't enough to affect it any more hat it already has." She paused and took a quick glance at her notes before looking up once more. 

"We cannot give you a prosthetic leg until the wound has closed up which can take up to a year, depending on how bad the wound is. You'll be on crutches twenty-four-seven, with a few minor exceptions until we can get you a prosthetic that works according to your abilities and powers. You might need help using the restroom or getting out of bed or a chair but you still have one leg so there's a possibility you'll be fine on your own." She offered a kind smile and you nodded.

"I'll give you your sized crutches and a few different types of antibiotics for the pain and you'll be on your way!" She set the clipboard to the side and headed over to the pair of crutches that had been placed against the wall. "We need to make sure they fit your height and size before letting you leave. One of the nurses will escort you to the lobby where one of your teammates will be there to help you get to your floor in the tower," She explained and the kindness in her tone caused hope to bubble up inside you.

"Thank you." You smiled as she helped you from the small bed and handed you your crutches. You adjusted them underneath your arms and she extended them slightly to fit your height before handing you a small purse with a shoulder strap to put your antibiotics and other belongings in.

"Mr. Stark has your stealth suit in the lab. He should be working on modifications right this second." You nodded and offered a fake smile as she helped you place the small purse over your head and across your body. "You'll have a weekly checkup in this very room so I can make sure you're healing but other than that you should be good to go."

"Thank you, Doctor." 

Just then, a nurse walked in and made sure you were holding your crutches correctly before escorting you to the main lobby of the medical department. It felt odd walking with crutches whilst missing a leg but you would get used to it. You had set your gaze on the floor to make sure you wouldn't trip over anything but looked up when you and the nurse entered the lobby. A genuine smile found its way onto your face when your best friend's face came into view and you ignored the butterflies in your stomach when he returned the gesture.

"She's good to go, Captain Rogers." The nurse smiled and nodded upon the many thanks she received from Steve and bid you both a kind farewell before Steve began to help you to the elevator.

"You look good." He smiled as your face flushed softly before you let you a laugh.

"Yeah, sure. Minus a leg and everything." You leaned against the pole in the elevator and pretended not to flush every time Steve offered you a breathtaking smile.

Not wanting to ruin the mood, Steve decided he would ask about Thalassophobia later, after you had settled in. Then maybe he would follow Tony's advice. Maybe.

The elevator dinged softly and you exited first, heading in the direction of your bedroom after checking behind you to make sure Steve was still there. Relief flooded through you when you saw that he was directly behind you and you smiled. Upon reaching your bedroom door, Steve opened it for you and helped you inside before following. Once you both were comfortable on your bed with the bedroom door closed and only the light from outside illuminating your features, you took a deep breath.

"I need to tell you something."

"I need to tell you something." You and Steve spoke at the same time which caused laughter to bubble up inside you both and you giggled helplessly for a few seconds before you spoke up.

"You can go first."

Steve nodded and took a deep breath, causing your nerves to become on-edge and hesitant but you told yourself to calm down. "I..." He sighed. "I like you, a lot. And you getting hurt has helped me to see that." He sucked in sharply and closed his eyes, waiting for the rejection to smack him in the face but it never came. The only thing that he felt was someone's fingers gently caressing his cheekbone. Your fingers. He opened his eyes and smiled shyly as heat crept up the back of his neck.

"Don't worry, I'm not going to hit you." You giggled softly and he glanced down bashfully. "I like you too, Steve." Your heart sank when you realized something and you swallowed the lump in your throat. "But what you don't know about me will probably show you that loving me is not what you want."

He furrowed his brow and shook his head. "What are you talking about?"

"I..." You wished your tears would stop filling your eyes but you couldn't help it. "Thalassophobia, Steve. It's... It's a phobia that I have." You didn't want to lift your gaze to his eyes, but you needed to, to know if you should continue. All you saw were warm, inviting eyes that were urging you to continue. "It's... I... It means I'm afraid of the ocean."

Steve's eyes softened and his posture relaxed as he lifted a hand to tuck a stray hair behind your ear. "Oh, sweetheart. Why didn't you tell me?"

"It was an important mission." You voice wavered and shook as you spoke, warning you of the tears that were to come.

"(Y/N) a phobia is more than a fear." Recognition flickered in Steve's and his mouth subconsciously opened. "That's why you panicked. Both times. That's why you looked so terrified in the Quinjet." He paused. "That's why you couldn't move away from the shark before it attacked you. (Y/N), I'm so sorry."

You began to cry and wrapped your arms around him. You held onto him for dear life as you sobbed in his arms. Every time you heard him sniffle, it would break another dam and you would cry harder. "'S okay, Stevie."

"I still love you the same, Baby Doll."

You let out another sob, but it was different. It was a happy sob. And that's when you knew that you would stay safe in his arms forever. You felt a huge wave of relief flow through you and began to open your eyes, but you weren't opening your eyes to the happy, tear-stained face of Steve Rogers. You were opening your eyes to the room with windows surrounding you with the ocean viewable from both sides. 

You were in the submarine again, but this time, you were strapped to a chair with machines and HYDRA agents surrounding you. It was just a dream and the only thing you wanted to do was scream, cry and beg for your Steve back, but you couldn't. Your head began to spin and you knew what was about to happen. You were having a panic attack. Again.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey there!
> 
> Here's part 6! I'm so sorry for putting you through some pretty awful stuff in the previous chapters but hopefully this one makes up for it. Happy reading!

Your clenched your jaw so hard your teeth began to throb as tears cascading down your cheeks. You opened your eyes that you had shut so tightly it was hard to pry them apart, but as soon as they were open, your vision was blurry because of the tears that filled your eyes. Your left leg had been replaced by bones that looked like they were made of metal and you winced. So the shark attack was real, at least you knew that. But what if HYDRA just cut your leg off and made you think it was a shark attack? No, because what use would that be to them?

You let your eyes glide across the thick, metal femur you now possessed and your gaze involuntarily flicked across your patella and down your leg to examine your fibula and tibia. The foot was also bone, including a tarsal, a metatarsal, and phalanges, and you furrowed your brow. It wasn't just odd that they gave you fake, metal bones as a prosthetic, it was also odd how large the bones were for your size. They looked like they would be the bones of a 230-pound man. A man like Steve Rogers.

You lifted your head from your new leg and glared at the agents. The man from earlier smirked and walked over to you, leaning down and placing his hands on his knees to put his face in front of yours. "How'd you sleep, darlin'?" He winked and you scoffed and leaned away from him. He was much too close for comfort and the only thought that was running through your brain was that you would rather be thrown in the ocean again than for him to flirt with you and be in such close proximity with you.

You chose not to respond, thankful that you were only worried that you were panicking again instead of having another panic attack and decided that your method of escape was to remain silent so that they would give up on you. Then maybe you could find Steve on your way out. Probably not, but it didn't hurt to have faith.

"What, you don't like that pet name?" He chuckled softly and began running his fingertips across your sides. "You like that, darlin'?" 

You kept telling yourself that you could last a bit longer until you figured out a better plan, but he was touching you in ways you never wanted him to touch you. You squirmed away from his hands and scrunched your nose, accidentally releasing a whimper.

He pulled away from you with that stupid smirk still on his face and shook his head, tsking softly as he turned away from you. "Your little boyfriend isn't going to come and save you. You should know that."

You wanted so badly to keep your mouth shut but you couldn't help yourself. "He's not my boyfriend." You exhaled sharply and closed your eyes. You needed to remain composed. You couldn't lash out on him because then there was no way you would ever escape. "How much of that was real?"

"Whatever do you mean, darlin'?" You wanted to smack the smug smile off his face as he turned towards you once more with a fake bewildered expression on his face.

"I know you brainwashed me into thinking that he saved me and brought me back home. I'll say it again: How much of it was real?" You spoke through gritted teeth as you leaned forward and glared at the man through your eyelashes. The armed agents standing around you seemed the least bit intimidated by you and he wasn't much better.

"Why do you want to know?" He smirked and took a step forward, a new smirk forming onto his face. "Oh... You wanna know if he loves you back. You wanna know if you told him about your stupid little fear, don't you?"

You leaned back and swallowed thickly. Even HYDRA knew about your phobia and they were right about it too. It was a stupid fear that you were ashamed of. You didn't want to give him the satisfaction of knowing he struck a nerve but you couldn't help it. It was already too late.

"There it is. I got you there, didn't I?"

"Answer me." You spoke sternly, brushing the pain and dread away and focusing on the task at hand. You tried convincing yourself it didn't matter that they knew about your fear.

"Nothing. Mr. America wasn't the one who brought you back to safety after you were attacked."

"Did you plan to have a shark attack me?" You spat, angry that you felt safe in the arms of the person who saved you. You thought it was Steve and that's what made you feel safe. An uneasy feeling crept up your spine when you realized you weren't safe. You had never been safe from the moment you jumped out of the Quinjet.

"No. That was a surprise, but what can I say? It worked in our favor, didn't it?"

"You son of a bitch."

"Language, (Y/N)."

Your heart just about stopped as you turned your head towards the sound. You wanted to cry when you saw his face. It was Steve, standing a few feet away from you with a machine gun you assumed he stole from a HYDRA agent.

The agents were too shocked to move and Steve took advantage of the situation by aiming the machine gun at them and grazing them with bullets. They would survive but they would pass out from the pain which is all they needed for now.

Everything was a blur until Steve tossed the gun aside and rushed over to you. He untied the ropes that bound you and internally thanked no one in particular that you were still alive. "Can you walk?"

"I... I don't know."

"Do you trust me?"

The question caught you off guard but you answered immediately. "Yes, of course."

He smiled and picked you up bridal style, maneuvering past unconscious agents to the entrance and exit of the submarine. "F.R.I.D.A.Y., send the Quinjet over as quickly as you can." He looked down at you and his gaze softened. "I'm gonna push you up first, alright? Try to move away from the door once you're out."

You nodded and held onto him as he wrapped his right arm around your waist and began climbing up the ladder. He used his right arm to hold onto the metal bars as he used his super strength to carry you with him. He pushed you up until your head was past the door. You used your arms to push yourself up and used your flesh leg to push your body away from the entrance. 

"All clear!" You yelled and a few seconds later Steve appeared in front of you as he pushed himself up effortlessly. He jumped onto his feet and jogged over to you, picking you up bridal style again. The Quinjet appeared and flew over to you.

"Just like last time. I'll push you up first." Steve said and you nodded. 

He pushed you into the jet as the lower doors opened and you used your upper-body weight to push yourself all the way into the jet. You turned around and noticed him trying to figure out how to get inside. You thought of ways to help when something came to your mind.

"Here!" You held your hand out for him to grab and he furrowed his brow before taking your hand.

"How are you...?"

"You'll see." You began pulling him off the ground as you compelled the wind to lift him from the ground. You had control over the wind which led him closer to the door and smiled to see your plan working. "Jump!"

"How?"

Right, he wouldn't realize that the wind would support him. He thought he had no leverage. "Act like you're on the ground. The wind will support you so use it as leverage."

He nodded and looked around, still seeming unsure. You squeezed his hand to comfort him and he looked up at you with a small smile gracing his lips.

"Do you trust me?"

He nodded vigorously. "Yes!"

"Then jump!" He jumped and you used all your strength to pull him into the Quinjet. "Go, F.R.I.D.A.Y.!" You yelled and the jet took off as the A.I. closed the lower doors. 

You lost your balance from standing on one leg and fell into Steve. "Sorry." You giggled softly and he smiled as he set you down against the wall of the jet. "I don't wanna use this leg because I don't know how well HYDRA is at performing surgical procedures." You laughed and felt your stomach flutter when Steve sat beside you after putting the jet on autopilot.

"What happened?" You looked up at Steve, confused at his question until he pointed to your left leg.

"You didn't see anything?"

He shook his head. "I was tied up on a different section of the submarine."

"It's a long story."

"It's a long ride back to the compound." Steve smiled at your defeated expression and urged you to tell him.

"The man threw me into the water through one of the windows that he had opened and I got attacked by a shark." You said and Steve's eyes widened.

"Seriously?"

"Yeah he bit my leg off and then one of the agents pulled me back to the submarine. The man said it wasn't planned but it worked out in his favor anyway."

"Son of a gun," Steve said, amazed in a way, and you giggled. "Is that it? Because that wasn't a long story." He chuckled and your smile dropped.

"No... They... They brainwashed me into thinking you saved me and brought me back to the compound." You paused. "Steve, I was so happy and then I woke up and everything turned to shit."

He ignored the swear word and wrapped his arms around you. "It's okay, (Y/N). You're safe now. What were you dreaming about?"

"You swallowed the lump in your throat and pulled away from Steve. Now was the perfect time to tell him, but which one was more important? Your love for him or your phobia? "I... I dreamt that I told you about my feelings for you and that you reciprocated them." You looked at your hands and waited for a response, your nerves practically exploding inside you.

"Well, then it must've been a vision." Steve smiled when you lifted your head with a perplexed expression on your face. "I have feelings for you too (Y/N)."

You heart leaped in your chest and you let a grin grace your facial features. "Please tell me this isn't a dream."

"It isn't a dream." Steve smiled. "You wanna know how I know?" Before you could answer, he pressed his lips to yours, catching you off guard but you melted into the kiss. Before it became too heated, Steve gently pinched your arm causing you to squeak but it was muffled by his lips. He pulled away with a sheepish smile on his face and you sighed deeply.

"You have got to be kidding me." You laughed.

"I love you."

Your stomach exploded with butterflies and you held in your inner fangirl. "I love you too, Stevie."


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey there!
> 
> Here's part 7! Part 8 will be the last part of this series! I hope you guys enjoy this part and will be excited to read the finale! Happy reading!

The rather torturous trip back to the compound bequeathed you apprehensive and rigid. Your stare lingered on the thick bones that acted as a prosthetic and you glowered. You were merely another experiment to them. Simply like Bucky. And they willed you with a distinct retrospection of them, irksome and purposefully. The muddling part was that they had performed a surgical procedure on you. You were plausibly infected for all you knew.

Steve told you to bypass using it in case it was infected until you got the okay from one of the doctors. You felicitously complied and thanked him benevolently. You were much brighter than you had been when you started the mission, but there was still one element that could convert to an enigma. Steve still had yet to know about your fear, but you weren't ready to tell him yet. You had just declared your love for him and discovered that he felt the same. You didn't want to bother worrying about anything else that could conflict.

His soothing hand rested on your flesh thigh for the preponderance of the trip, until he required to begin flying the Quinjet. You presumed it was because you were almost home and he aspired to be in control when the jet landed. Maybe it was for your security. The thought gave you butterflies and the ghost of a smile settled on your face. You only wished that was his mentality because having someone care about you like that sounded like a dream. It sounded wonderful.

You deliberately pushed yourself from the floor of the jet and endeavored to hop over to Steve, using your right leg to withdraw from using the prosthetic. You were grappling to get there and Steve turned around upon detecting the uproar. His eyes widened and he hurried over to you to support you.

"What are you doing?" He chuckled serenely and helped you over to the front of the jet, placing you in the control chair with a small smile. He glimpsed over to the controls to make sure everything was working suitably before kneeling in front of you.

You flushed and peeked away. "I wanted to be near you." You felt his hand cup your cheek and delicately turn your face towards his. Upon seeing the sweet smile on his face, your stomach swirled with butterflies and you giggled sheepishly.

"Why is that?" The corner of his mouth turned up in a tantalizing grin and he drew his fingertips from your face and noted that your cheeks flushed with color. He neglected the sensation in his stomach when you gulped thickly and felt his fingers twitch in agitation.

You lamented and shook your head. "Because I love you!" You overexaggerated with a faraway snicker and picketed a giddy grin form on his face. This must have been your preferred transcription of Steve. The one where he let go of all his apprehension and was himself in front of you. The version where he wasn't Captain America, but a shallow guy from Brooklyn who discovered delight in the simplest of things.

He leaned forward and kissed your temple, murmuring a sweet 'Love you too' before solidifying his gaze on the sky in front of him. After all, he was to deliver you home securely to tell everyone the good news after the bad news. Or maybe vice versa.

He glimpsed over to you, a meager, loving smile gracing his lips and nearly melted at the sight of you fast asleep in the control chair with your lips slightly withdrawn and your left cheek leaning on your left arm. Your right arm was draped across the right arm of the chair and your flesh heel was propped against the floor of the jet with your enclosed toes pointed towards the sky. He resisted the urge to hold you and whisper sweet nothings into your ear as you slept to design beautiful dreams for you. He only pressed a tender kiss to your crown before willing the jet the fly quicker to the compound.

 

You awoke to gentle movement and peeled your eyes open. You could see the star of Steve's stealth suit and discerned that he was carrying you. Bridal style. You wanted to squeal and fangirl, but decided against it. Instead, you nestled into his chest and encircled your arms around his neck. What you didn't know, was that Steve smiled when he felt you shift closer to him, and felt no shame when he rambled into the compound with an ear-splitting grin on his face.

You pretended to fall back asleep and ventured to suppress your smile when you heard Tony's voice. But Steve regarded your joy and looked down at you, chuckling softly when you pulled your head away from his chest.

"Capsicle! You're bac-what is that?!" Tony eyed your prosthetic regarding interest and confusion.

"It's a prosthetic leg, Tony." You replied playfully and rolled your eyes with a titter.

"Why..?" He hesitated and browsed the metal with his fingers gently. "It's real metal. And why are you missing a leg?" He raised his chocolate-brown eyes to your (E/C) ones with a furrowed brow and you sighed.

"I was attacked by a shark. But, I'm fine now, so there's no need to worry!"

"A... what? If you're fine, why is Cap carrying you?" He lifted an eyebrow at you and you slumped in Steve's arms, looking up at him and wordlessly urged him to help you.

"She can't walk on it yet until a doctor makes sure it isn't infected." His voice remained monotone as he answered and you could tell he was ready to just go to his quarters and relax.

"Steve," He peered down at you lovingly and you smiled softly. "It's okay, you can go rest. I can handle myself."

He shook his head. "Not until I get you to Doctor Banner." You sighed but grudgingly nodded and enabled him to bring you to Doctor Banner. Or as you knew him. Bruce.

 

Steve jostled the door open with his back before turning around and gently setting you on the table. Bruce turned around and sighed before shooing Steve from the room.

"Go to bed!" You hollered after him and he smiled and nodded.

"I am!"

You giggled and turned to Bruce.

"What happened this time?" He asked, appearing exhausted but knowing that his job wasn't done yet. You revealed everything that happened, including every little aspect and he began to study your wounds and your prosthetic. He put you under anesthesia just in case, with your consent of course, and made sure everything was okay.

 

You gradually began to obtain cognizance again and it felt like you had been asleep for a week straight. You were slightly sore but overall okay and smiled when you saw Bruce wander over to you.

"You know this isn't the kind of Doctor I am, right?"

You laughed, well puffed, and shook your head. You cleared your throat and coughed before speaking. "Sorry. Steve wanted you to help me."

Bruce rolled his eyes before informing you about your state. Your prosthetic was secured to walk on and you had no lethal wounds from the mission. He told you to take it easy for a while until the soreness and fatigue went away and to make sure someone was always near you in case you fell.

"It'll take you a while to get used to walking on a prosthetic, especially one like this, but other than that, everything's fine." He helped you off the table and offered a closed-mouthed smile. He handed you short shorts that would only go down to your mid-thigh and a t-shirt he most likely got from the extra stash you kept in the bathroom across the hall from your room in your quarters. "You can get changed in there," He pointed to the bathroom, "And I'll have F.R.I.D.A.Y. make sure you get to your room safely."

You nodded and moved into the bathroom the change. Your life was about to change drastically, and you only hoped everything would remain somewhat close to the same.


	8. Final Part

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey there!
> 
> This is the last part of this series and let me just say, I had a blast writing this! It was my first multi-chapter fic featuring a Marvel character and I'm actually quite proud of it! Let me know how you feel about it in the comments and I'll hopefully see you at my next fic! Happy reading!

_There you were again, thrashing against the man as he threatened to throw you into the merciless sea. But it was different this time. This time, it sounded as if your ears were stuffed with cotton, despite one section which allowed you to hear the salty, ocean water rushing into the vessel._

_"Please! Don't do this. I have thalassophobia! I'm gonna die!" You sobbed and cried out for someone to save you, but the man's hold on you was too strong and you knew it was no use to cry for help. You were past saving, and your destiny was to be thrown into the dark waters of the sea._

_"That's the point, sweetheart," He spat and you wanted to snarl at him and rip your arms from his grasp but your muscles refused to move. It was as if your entire body was shutting down in that moment he began moving you closer to the windows that had previously slid open._

_You were thrown into the ocean's abyss, feeling as if you were being pulled down by a weight. Your hearing was heightened and everything the predator did to your leg was heard. You could hear the shark sink its teeth into your flesh and pull the limb from your body. You could hear him as he fed on the flesh and blood that was no longer attached to your body and you attempted to resist the urge to pass out._

_Before darkness enveloped you, you heard your name being called out in a familiar voice that you couldn't put your finger on. You felt hands caress your body and begin shaking you almost desperately before you realized what was happening._

Your body shot up and your eyes peeled open, examining your surroundings before you saw an extremely tired but worried-looking Steve sitting beside you. His hand was rested on your shoulder and you recalled your dream. You felt your lip tremble and tears burn your eyes as you turned to Steve, and his gaze softened when he saw your broken state.

As soon as a salty tear escaped your eyelid and slid into the crevasse of your nose, Steve pulled you into a tight embrace. You held in your cries, feeling bad to have awoken him, at least that was your assumption, but the dam broke when Steve whispered four words that caused your heart to swell and break all at once.

"It's okay, you're safe." He rubbed your back with one hand and stroked your hair with the other while you cried and wailed in his arms, your sobs racking your body as he gently hushed you. "It was just a bad dream, sweetheart. I'm right here, it's okay."

What really tugged on your heart was that this was how it would be like for the rest of your life, because that's what happens when someone goes through something traumatic. You would be reminded of it through everything and nothing, and yet you hadn't any idea how you would make it through. If this is how nights would regularly go, you didn't want to ever sleep again.

"Why didn't you tell me, babydoll?" Steve spoke quietly in case you were still spooked from your dream and gently pulled away from you to look in your (E/C) eyes. He watched your expression change from fear to confusion and frowned.

"Tell you what?" Your voice was raspy and unclear which caused you to clear your throat and swallow thickly.

"In your... In your dream, you said something and..." He trailed off and furrowed his brow. His hesitance caused a spike of fear to travel through your body and your hands began to tremble.

"What did I say?" When he didn't answer, you felt like crying again. What had you said aloud? What could your words have possibly sounded like? Could he have confused a certain word for another? "Steve?"

"You were begging and you said... you said you had thalassophobia." He had dropped his gaze to his hands as he spoke, but once he finished, he lifted his head and stared into your eyes, awaiting a response.

You wanted to crawl under the covers and stay there forever. The one thing you wanted to keep from him, was no longer a secret because of a stupid nightmare and how you accidentally spoke in your sleep. That was possibly the worst way for him to find out and you hated yourself because of it. You should've told him sooner. He was probably mad at you for keeping it a secret. He would probably break up with you as soon as he got the chance. The thought caused a new wave of tears to fill your eyes and you shook your head and closed your eyes for a few seconds.

"Is that true?"

You barely opened your eyes when you nodded, puckering your lip subconsciously as you held in your cries. You didn't want to see how he reacted but you needed to. You parted your eyelids fully and saw no anger or frustration, but love and sorrow in his eyes. You swallowed the lump in your throat and flicked your eyes between the two of his.

"Oh, Baby." He took your left hand in his significantly larger right one and began tracing circles on the back of your hand with his thumb. He placed his left hand on the back of your head and pressed a tender kiss to your crown, lingering for a mere seconds before resting the side of his head against your forehead. "I'm so sorry. I didn't know. Otherwise, I would've never taken you on that mission with me."

"It's okay." Your voice cracked and you threw your arms around his neck, holding onto him tightly. "It's okay, Stevie. It's not your fault."

"But-"

"No. Do not blame yourself. Blame me and my stupid fucking panic attacks, okay?"

Steve chuckled softly and you felt him nod.

"Good." You pulled away from him and wasted no time in pushing your lips onto his, immediately adding as much passion as you could to show him how much he meant to you. Your hand lifted and carded through his short, and at the moment, tousled hair and your lips moved with his. You left him in a daze once you pulled away and you smiled, gently pulling your hand from his hair and fitting it in his hand, lacing your fingers together and offering a sweet smile.

"Will you be alright?"

"I'll be perfect, as long as you're here with me." You smiled and kissed his cheek.

He laid back down with you, pulling you with him and against his chest, and wrapped his arms - and legs - around your form. Your fingers remained entwined with his and you smiled as you closed your eyes. You felt your heart swell when Steve placed a delicate kiss below your ear and your heart exploded with joy at his next and last words before you fell asleep.

"Not leaving. Never in a million years."

You grinned sloppily and snuggled closer to him, letting sleep take over, not knowing that it would be the start of the best sleep you'd had in forever.

                                         The End.


End file.
